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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29522361">Hospital Beds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellicEtFrerard/pseuds/KellicEtFrerard'>KellicEtFrerard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Body Image, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorders, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hospitals, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, Suicide Attempt, Supportive Craig Tucker, creek - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:02:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29522361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellicEtFrerard/pseuds/KellicEtFrerard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tweek has disappeared. Physically a lot of him but mentally nearly all of him. After being placed in a psychiatric ward for his eating disorder he begins to realise there is more to life than his food and weight and calories.</p><p>There's also a suicidal guy, Craig, who Tweek knew from high school before he mysteriously left a year ago. Craig wants to help Tweek. He wants to be there for him. But in reality they are both struggling.</p><p>Two negatives make a positive, but is that the same when you are both dying?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Craig Tucker &amp; Tweek Tweak, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Downwards Spiral</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Firstly a HUGE TRIGGER WARNING FOR EATING DISORDERS AND SUICIDE.<br/>Really. If reading this could cause you harm then please don't take the chance.</p><p>Based on my own experiences in UK hospitals and school, US experiences may be different.<br/>I don't know much about eating disorder hospitalisation so there may be some inaccuracies.</p><p>Also noirette = black hair person in case its confusing because it's not a real term lol.</p><p>Anyways, enjoy =)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the first day of the summer break and Tweek lay in bed idly gazing up at his slate-grey ceiling.</p><p>School had finished for good; after years of being pushed around and ignored, it was finally all over for the blonde. Next up was three years of university - starting out fresh with no boundaries of how to act due to the pressure to keep to the character he had built out of insecurity.</p><p>Tweek was gay. He had known this since the freshman year when all his friends were dating girls but he couldn’t imagine himself with one. Vulnerable and emotional, he knew he was not the stereotypical straight man. It had unfortunately taken him to get a hard-on over his coach in gym class to realise there’s only one gender he lusts over.</p><p>The blonde pushed his duvet aside and stumbled out of his warm bed into the comparably icy air of his room. A distinct smell of coffee circulated around the area due to the stacks of empty mugs and cups he had forgotten to take down because of the pressure of finishing school and his exams which literally defined his future.</p><p>These days it seemed like he was always stressed.</p><p>One thing to the next - high school finished but now everything around him was going to change. How was he meant to cope? He had never truly coped. Constantly jittering out of fear and getting physical aches and pains from anxiety. That’s no way to live.</p><p>He briefly looked in the mirror, unsatisfied at his slightly soft yet healthy body (likely due to the influx of cortisol from exam season), then clumsily buttoned up his khaki green shirt and rushed downstairs to grab some cereal before he started his first shift at his summer job. His parents let him help run the local coffee shop, ‘Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse’. Their coffee was mediocre along with the salary but he had no choice and it was merely three months.</p><p>He was greeted to zero customers. Clearly his parents' business was not doing too well with the new Harbucks installed next door.</p><p>Alone with his thoughts and nothing on his brain it began to cluster with theories about his future.</p><p>
  <i>What if I fail?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What if I make no friends?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What if I don’t get in a relationship?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What if everyone falls in love and I miss out?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Will I ever be with someone?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Why would anyone want me anyway?</i>
</p><p>He then looked down at his body pressed up against the glass chamber filled with baked goods, the eerie silence of the cafe getting louder.</p><p>Previously he had been too busy to notice the way his body changed.</p><p>He stood there paralysed and disgusted at the imperfect curvature of his stomach beneath his apron.</p><p>
  <i>I’m.. fat?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What the fuck.</i>
</p><p>He began to feel the weight of the cereal he ate for breakfast lie in the pit of his stomach.</p><p>He began to feel the weight of the last few months of overconsumption pillowed all over his body.</p><p>His eyes gazed back at the mountains of calorie ridden treats, his throat immediately closing as a reflex to the thought of adding to his weight.</p><p>
  <i>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.</i>
</p><p>Tears started to well in his eyes as he realised the embarrassment of his friends watching him let himself go whilst he never noticed until this moment.</p><p>
  <i>I need to change now before I’ve lost all control.</i>
</p><p>------------------------</p><p>Change was an understatement. After just two months the blonde had lost 30lb and drifted into the underweight region without realising he was killing himself.</p><p>“Tweek.. Please eat breakfast today, I’m really worried.” His own mother cried.</p><p>The previously emotional boy had become numb. The only emotion possible being anger when people tried to stop him from losing weight.</p><p>“I’ll eat hnngh on the way to work. I promise.” Were the last words he uttered to his mom at home for a long time.</p><p>Two months prior the blonde began to hide everything from everyone. He skipped breakfast every day, just leaving it slightly too late then walking out for work. Lunch was easy to skip as no-one was there to force him during those hours of the day. Dinner he only skipped half of the days due to the inconvenience of finding a way to hide it whilst eating with his family.</p><p>Weight started to shed off and each time he weighed himself each day he got a rush of pride. 150..148..147..147..146…….134..133..133..133..133..133.</p><p>He never saw a change though.</p><p>After hitting the plateau of 133lb, he decided restriction was not enough. Instead of walking to work he began to leave slightly earlier and go on a run to rid himself of the body he saw as grotesquely fat.</p><p>That morning when his mother tried to get him to eat breakfast he went for his usual morning run before work.</p><p>The cool air whistling through his overgrown blonde hair felt like God telling him he was in control. The wind pressed his t-shirt up against his boney torso exposing each of his jutting ribs and chest bones. Each heart beat he felt. That’s all he physically felt on his runs: weakness and the unhealthy drumming of his struggling heart.</p><p>
  <i>I know 120lb is still too high yet.. for once I can almost feel control.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I think..</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I think I’m nearly in co-</i>
</p><p>The chamber of his body was never going to last that long. At that moment the machine he had neglected finally neglected him as his knees buckled and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.</p><p>A man on his way to work saw the seemingly dead boy and called an ambulance, it wasn’t long until he was brought the hospital and sentenced for the attempted murder of himself.</p><p>------------------------</p><p>“Gah!! Where am I?” Tweek rubbed his eyes then peered down at the mint green hospital gown he was wearing. Then the discomfort in his nose and inside of his oesophagus overwhelmed him.</p><p>
  <i>What the fuck?</i>
</p><p>He brushed his fingers past the tube taped across his face. Severe malnutrition was obvious to the nurses so they fitted an NG tube to prevent the blonde from dying.</p><p>“Hi.. um.. Tweek Tweak is it?” A nurse wandered into the room after hearing Tweek’s awakening.</p><p>“Yeah..”</p><p>“You collapsed earlier today and were brought to the ER by ambulance.. We ran some blood tests and it appears you are severely malnourished and seemingly underweight. Have you been eating?”</p><p>
  <i>Seriously. Is this a joke? Underweight? This is humiliating. </i>
</p><p>“I have been running more recently but.. I think hnngh I’m still healthy.” Tweek replied whilst fighting any thoughts that would suggest he might have a problem.</p><p>“Last time you were here you weighed around 150lb which was healthy for your height yet now you are only 118lb? Unfortunately you are going to have to stay here for a few more nights because we suspect there may be more going on than you suggest.”</p><p>
  <i>118lb.. Wow.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>That’s my lowest since middle school.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m fucking amazing.</i>
</p><p>“We are going to have to transfer you to the psychiatric unit of the hospital for now as you are no longer needed in the ER. I’ll take the tube out of your nose if you can eat tonight.” The nurse glared over at Tweek’s body. He desperately needed help.</p><p>Tweek made no reply but knew he was not going to eat. He had found a way to hide things for so long he thought he could do it again.</p><p>The time was around 9PM when a nurse led Tweek along hallways of patients to a part of a building with lots of beds and nurses and patients which didn’t look ill but looked disorientated or stressed.</p><p>He didn’t fit in. This was the adult ward as Tweek turned 18 earlier that year.</p><p>His eyes darted around the room and he quickly realised he was the youngest person there.</p><p>He could tell everyone around him was broken.</p><p>Wrists covered in bandages.</p><p>Men talking to themselves.</p><p>One woman with a slurred voice crying about her delusions to the seemingly uncaring nurse positioned next to her bed.</p><p>
  <i>And I’m here due to my neglect of fitness causing me to pass out.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Embarrassing.</i>
</p><p>Deep inside, he knew he had a problem.</p><p>Yet his internal monologue took pleasure in ignoring this.</p><p>The bed opposite him was the only empty bed in the room. Sapphire curtains sat open, revealing a clean and freshly laid bed with plastic white and sky blue sheets.</p><p>The blonde whipped out his phone and actively avoided the texts of his parents. They were the least important thing to him at that moment. The only thing on his mind was how he was going to not eat the dinner that he was going to receive imminently. </p><p>A nurse came in with a tray and a plate filled with awful hospital food: a dry mountain of mashed potato; three beige sausages; a heap of wrinkled green peas; and a small box of juice.</p><p>She then sat down on a chair beside his bed and stared at him. You could tell her dark eyes had seen many people and she was truly tired of her job.</p><p>“Eat.”</p><p>
  <i>Fuck that</i>
</p><p>“Eat,” she repeated. “Or I will have to insert the tube up your  nose. I know you had it in earlier so you know how it feels.”</p><p>Tears started to well in the blonde’s eyes for the first time in two months - that was until the doors to the ward burst open with two nurses restraining a dark-haired man’s arms.</p><p>
  <i>Craig?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Craig Tucker?</i>
</p><p>The nurse sighed. “Okay, you’ve had your chance.” She then retrieved the appropriate equipment nearby.</p><p>
  <i>Craig Tucker? I haven’t seen him.. I haven’t seen him for at least a year.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What is he doing here?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>This is an embarrassing reunion.</i>
</p><p>The nurse held onto Tweek’s face as she shoved the tube up his nose and guided it down his throat into his stomach.</p><p>
  <i>And now they are forcing down calories into me. Craig must be judging me - a fat person being force fed.</i>
</p><p>With a disappointed face, the nurse returned to her seat and remained her gaze on Tweek to make sure he didn’t try to remove the tube.</p><p>Craig sat in the hospital bed opposite Tweek looking completely void of emotion.</p><p>Tweek observed the noirette’s eyes - surrounded by violet circles. He mustn’t have slept for days. Craig’s eyes then darted to Tweek. An ironic smile beamed onto his face when he realised how awful of a place it is to reunite with one of your old best friends.</p><p>Craig then noticed the tube into Tweek’s nose. Then his thin skeletal arms and hollow cheeks. Then the untouched food. He was in deep. Just like Craig.</p><p>They couldn’t speak. Not really. At least not with the nurses listening into every word.</p><p>Craig knew exactly what to do. This wasn’t the first time he’d been in the psychiatric unit.</p><p>He whipped out his phone.</p><p> </p><p>CRAIG: hi lol</p><p> </p><p>Tweek’s phone buzzed, making him jump. To this, Craig smiled. Then when the blonde read the message, that smile was returned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Why are you here?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was both really easy and hard to write.<br/>I combined two circumstances that happened to me<br/>- re-uniting with a primary school friend in a hospital ward<br/>- befriending a girl in the ward and having her send pics of her guinea pigs<br/>the second one reminded me of craig so i had to include it lol</p><p>I hope you enjoy also HUGE TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CRAIG: hi lol</p><p>TWEEK: wow uh nice to see you again</p><p>Both of them sat propped up on their beds in the artificially lit room staring at their phones with awkward smiles on their faces.</p><p>TWEEK: i’m really sorry for not contacting you</p><p>The smile on Craig’s face began to fade.</p><p>TWEEK: i mean.. clearly there's something wrong if you're here</p><p>Craig sighed.</p><p>TWEEK: so uhh what have you been up to for the last year</p><p>CRAIG: you know.. clearly nothing good as i am currently sitting in a hospital bed - not for the first time this year lol</p><p>Tweek cringed, realising he should be more sensitive about this.</p><p>TWEEK: im so sorry</p><p>The silence in the room got louder</p><p>
  <i>God. I am so stupid. I’m fat and stupid. Clearly the fat got to my brain. I hate my stupid fat b-</i>
</p><p>Tweek’s phone buzzed once again.</p><p>CRAIG: my guinea pig is doing good though :)</p><p>He attached multiple images of little Stripe. The ball of brown and white fluff must have been getting old by now.</p><p>It had been three years since Craig got stripe. Back when they were 15, he invited Tweek around his house to see the little guy as he knew the blonde loved animals. Tweek and Craig were best friends back then. Inseparable. But during the junior year they drifted apart; Craig never made an effort so Tweek just gave up on him.</p><p>Tweek always just assumed Craig wasn’t interested in him anymore. That he was too childish or too stressful to be around. Maybe it was the fact that Tweek was gay and Craig didn’t want to be associated with him.</p><p>TWEEK: aww he’s still adorable</p><p>CRAIG: yeah, he’s the only reason why i want to get out of this damn place</p><p>
  <i>How long has he been here for?</i>
</p><p>------------------------</p><p>Craig Tucker never smiled - yet he never looked sad either. He always remained neutral, exceptionally stoic in any situation.</p><p>It was a year since he attempted for the first time.</p><p>He could remember that day like the back of his hand - usually when he didn’t want to.</p><p>Being logical and rational is usually a positive quality, yet in the case of Craig Tucker, it was his fatal flaw. Everything had to have some kind of reason. This thought path caused Craig to be one of the smarter students in his class, with a greater understanding of things which most people tend to accept. However when anything bad would happen, he would pin point it down to the only cause of pain - life.</p><p>Craig’s home life was tough, his father constantly picking on him about the way he acts. He was never allowed to show emotion or he would get ridiculed.</p><p>Craig’s father was obviously damaged, yet Craig was the one forced to endure his projection of his insecurity.</p><p>Craig’s mother was almost like a robot, solely there to cook and clean. She never stood up for Craig - or even herself.</p><p>Therefore Craig’s nihilistic view of the world built up over the years. He had always wondered what the point of life was but it was later in his teens where he realised it was all pointless. He was just a pawn in a game, being alive was a punishment.</p><p>Death was the perfect answer.</p><p>Human nature makes everyone avoid death at all costs, including Craig.</p><p>He thought he was way too scared to actually do it.</p><p>But the more you feed into these thoughts, the more likely you will overcome the restraints programmed into your brain at birth.</p><p>At age 17, on a chilly Autumn morning, Craig went to the store and purchased a box cutter.</p><p>He got home, opened his windows and listened to the calm air. A black bird sat peacefully on the ledge. He saw the trees. It all felt surreal. All these objects with no true purpose. He thought he discovered the truth of the world and it detached him from reality.</p><p>He then opened the box cutter and adjusted the blade.</p><p>He didn’t want to self harm. He never wanted to self harm. He wanted to stop the pain forever and the only way he could do it was to experience the worst pain of his pointless life.</p><p>You could imagine exactly what happened next, he certainly could.</p><p>It wasn’t peaceful like he imagined.</p><p>A vertical slit in his wrist.</p><p>His brain froze and his heart sank to the floor as the horror scene flooded in front of him.</p><p>The human nature that briefly left came running back as he was fighting for his life.</p><p>
  <i>Loud ringing.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Blurred vision.</i>
</p><p>He then threw up all over his crimson stained carpet.</p><p>He no longer wanted to die, but he thought he surely would.</p><p> </p><p>------------------------</p><p> </p><p>Craig quickly jolted out of the painful memories of his first attempt when the lights were all dimmed.</p><p>Night time.</p><p>It’s so hard to sleep in a place with plastic beds and multiple strangers. You have to try though or you will become even more insane. Not to mention the room could never be dark otherwise the nurses wouldn’t be able to watch you sleep and make sure you don’t harm yourself or try to escape.</p><p>He pulled out his phone again to say goodnight to Tweek, diverting his eyes from the thick scar on his arm.</p><p>CRAIG: anyways night, good luck sleeping </p><p>TWEEK: gd night, sweet dreams, hopefully about guinea pigs lol</p><p>Craig was way too used to nights at the hospital. Within minutes he drifted to sleep.</p><p>Tweek on the other hand was a fish out of water.</p><p>
  <i>They are pumping food into me right now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Should I get out of bed?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What would happen if I started doing star jumps.. That’s a human right.. Right?</i>
</p><p>The blonde tossed and turned as the plastic sheets stuck to his body.</p><p>
  <i>This wouldn’t happen if I weren’t fat.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’d be cold and thin and pure.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>People would envy me.</i>
</p><p>------------------------</p><p>The ward filled with silence as the outside world switched from deep indigo to a lighter cerulean.</p><p>The robins, blackbirds and wrens sang early morning lullabies.</p><p>Tweek was the first to wake up in the unfamiliar place. He immediately glanced over to his nurse who was meant to be keeping an eye on him. She had fallen asleep - unprofessional but expected from someone who is overworked and underpaid.</p><p>With this chance of not being watched, Tweek began to do sit ups in his bed.</p><p>
  <i>Must</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Burn</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Calories</i>
</p><p>The guilt of the energy he felt from the liquid food that was sent up his nose felt soul crushing.</p><p>
  <i>Up and down</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Up and down</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Up and down</i>
</p><p>Tweek must have done hundreds of sit ups after the 20 minutes of not being observed.</p><p>
  <i>Not enough to burn the fat.</i>
</p><p>He cringed at the way the skin on his stomach folded each time he sat up.</p><p>
  <i>I have to pull it out.</i>
</p><p>The blonde stopped exercising for a moment and felt around his nose.</p><p>
  <i>I have to pull it out.</i>
</p><p>His thin fingers began to peel off the tape on his cheek.</p><p>
  <i>But it will hurt</i>
</p><p>
  <b>Shut up</b>
</p><p>
  <i>It’s less painful than living in a grotesque body.</i>
</p><p>With a great amount of pain, he slowly pulled the lengthy tube from his nose. He could feel the sides of the tube burning his oesophagus as it brushed against it on its exit.</p><p>He then sat there with the tube leaking fluids on his bed, feeling guilt and relief combined.</p><p>
  <i>Perfect</i>
</p><p>He knew that when the nurse would wake up she would try and force it down him again, but he would use every cell in his brain to figure out how to avoid this.</p><p>The blonde's phone then buzzed.</p><p>
  <i> Gah!! </i>
</p><p>CRAIG: what the fuck are you doing</p><p>
  <i>Fuck</i>
</p><p>CRAIG: you woke me up</p><p>CRAIG: you know you breathe loud as shit when you’ve been doing sit ups for fuck knows how long</p><p>
  <i>I wouldn’t be out of breath if I were thin.</i>
</p><p>TWEEK: the tube hurt</p><p>CRAIG: it would hurt if you just yanked it out of your nose</p><p>TWEEK: you really dont understand</p><p>CRAIG: i told you before, this isnt my first time here. ive seen people do the exact same thing but i never knew you were as out of control as them.</p><p>
  <i>Craig thinks I am out of control.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Craig thinks I’m fat.</i>
</p><p>TWEEK: im not like those people. you dont understand how humiliating it is to be fat and have a tube up your nose making you even fatter. </p><p>CRAIG: firstly i can promise you wouldnt be here with a tube up your nose if you were fat.</p><p>CRAIG: secondly, im the one who should feel humiliated. this is the second time ive attempted suicide this year and i failed. again.</p><p>Tweek was greeted with a wave of sickness.</p><p>
  <i>Craig.. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Craig.. attempted suicide? </i>
</p><p>The blonde's phone faded into black as he struggled to process the noirette's text.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed, =) theres more to come!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Group Therapy Heat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for this chapter taking a while, im also currently writing a dissertation about mass shootings lmfao so my brain is constantly filled with writing about angst.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When the sun fully arose, the nurse awoke and pretended that she was awake the whole time. Carefully, she poured herself some water in a white plastic cup and proceeded to study the blonde.</p><p>As she took a sip, she noticed the tube sprawled beside him on his bed, leaking its fluids onto his sheets.</p><p>“Hey! Did you do that?” She questioned the blonde, pointing at the tube. Her face was painted with guilt and concern.</p><p>Craig peered over at Tweek’s slightly blushing face.</p><p>“Uh.. it was nnggh hurting me.” Tweek muttered, averting his eyes from the nurse.</p><p>“Listen, you can’t do stuff like that on your own! If you have any concerns, you must tell me or one of my colleagues.”</p><p>
  <i>You were asleep.</i>
</p><p>“However, no matter how much it was hurting you, I know you wouldn’t endure the extreme pain of trying to take it out on your own.” She sympathised with him. “You poor boy. Today you will be seeing a psychiatrist - probably will get a diagnosis also.”</p><p>A small, old lady rolled a trolley in; it was filled with off-brand cereals, ripe fruits and small square juice boxes.</p><p>“Breakfast here.” She yelled across the ward in an accent hard to distinguish from the two words.</p><p>“If you eat this, I won’t put the tube back in. Please, it makes my life much easier.” The nurse confided.</p><p>She then stood up and poured a large amount of cornflakes into a small blue china bowl. Cautiously, she filled a white plastic cup with cold milk, and grabbed a banana and an apple to return to the blonde.</p><p>“Eat this. Please.” She whimpered out of frustration. She did not want to have to put the tube back in.</p><p>
  <i>Approx 200 calories in this amount of cornflakes. Maybe 150 in this amount of milk. I’d only drink about a third so that’s 50. I won’t eat both the apple and the banana, I think the banana is quite small though so that would be maybe another 100.</i>
</p><p>“I can’t eat the apple and the banana.” The blonde whispered.</p><p>“That’s fine, but you must finish the cereal. Just leave the apple.”</p><p>The blonde analytically poured exactly a third of the white liquid into the bowl.</p><p>
  <i>350 calories if I eat this - but who knows how many more in the tube.</i>
</p><p>He rose the silver spoon to his mouth, it was filled with slightly soggy orange cornflakes. With great apprehension he closed his lips around it and began to chew. The blonde never liked milk but it suddenly tasted cool and refreshing. The bland cornflakes tasted oddly sweet. Even the spoon felt good in his mouth. He carried on chewing, trying to ignore the thoughts telling him he didn’t deserve it.</p><p>After he finished the cereal, he peeled open the banana. It was perfectly ripe - fully yellow with no blemishes.</p><p>Craig watched as Tweek moved his mouth towards the tip of the banana.</p><p>He remembered how carelessly they used to binge on cheesy poofs on the sofa of Tweek’s house while playing Assassin’s Creed. Those were better times. Craig knew that despite Tweek’s nervous twitching and current state, he was actually a very down to earth person. When they were in middle school they always dreamed about an idyllic future of space and guinea pigs. Not both being on suicide watch.</p><p>Tweek took the first bite and immediately caught the noirette’s stare.</p><p>
  <i>He’s watching me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He’s watching me make myself even more fat.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I can’t eat this.</i>
</p><p>Tears began to well in Tweek’s eyes as he fought against his malicious thoughts. He couldn’t take the pain of the tube going back in.</p><p>When Craig noticed the streaming down Tweek’s face, he stared back at his own cereal, not wanting to see Tweek in distress.</p><p>Tweek shoved the rest of the banana into his mouth as he sobbed. He chewed it mechanically, the taste and texture morphing into something disgusting.</p><p>“I’m so proud of you!” The nurse beamed as she cleared up the cutlery. “It’s nearly 10AM though, you have an appointment with the psychiatrist now.”</p><p>She gestured Tweek to follow her down the hallways of the hospital, and so they ventured through and found themselves in a small room.</p><p>The walls were plastered with posters about mental health, yet the room itself was merely two chairs and a desk and a strong smell of cologne. A clean looking man in his mid 40s was slumped behind the desk.</p><p>“You must be.. Tweek Tweak?” he spoke as he fixed his posture.</p><p>“Yes..”</p><p>“I’m Dr William. Today we will be discussing what has been going on for you lately. Do you know why you’re here?”</p><p>“I passed out because I was running too much.”</p><p>“You also had severe malnutrition shown in your blood tests.” The doctor said sternly. “Tweek, tell me - how do you feel about your body?”</p><p>
  <i>I hate it. It’s fat. It’s disgusting. I constantly feel trapped in my own flesh prison. I try so hard to lose weight and be thinner but I’m still.. me.</i>
</p><p>“I don’t like it really.” The blonde muttered.</p><p>“Have you been trying to lose weight?”</p><p>“Yeah..” Tweek admitted.</p><p>“Your weight is only a few pounds under healthy, but the amount you have lost in the small time frame is within the diagnostic criteria for anorexia nervosa.”</p><p>Tweek’s face flushed red when the doctor indicated that his weight wasn’t very low.</p><p>
  <i>Only a few pounds.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Only..</i>
</p><p>
  <i>A few.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Not even close to enough.</i>
</p><p>“If your condition worsens, we will have to send you to a separate eating disorder facility. However, if your weight returns to healthy - which I’m sure it can soon - you will be discharged.”</p><p>
  <i>He thinks I’m going to let myself go..</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’ll be fat soon..</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Fuck.</i>
</p><p>“For the meantime, you will be receiving group therapy here in hospital with the other young adults on the ward.”</p><p>------------------------</p><p>The four under 21s from the ward sat in a circle of blue chairs. Tweek and Craig placed themselves next to each other and guided their eyes towards a new nurse in a navy blue uniform. Her long brunette hair was lazily pulled into a ponytail and a pair of thick rimmed glasses were balanced on her nose. On the right side of her chest there was a badge labelled ‘Maria’.</p><p>“Welcome everybody to your first group therapy session!” she exclaimed. “Today we will be discussing relationships. I think this is a key part of each of your treatments as relationships form the people we are now and who we will be in the future.”</p><p>“But firstly, I would like you to introduce yourselves to each other. Each of you stand up and tell everyone your name and a fact about you!” she added whilst maintaining an enthusiasm unfit for the room.</p><p>
  <i>Oh God.. what is there about me that I can say..</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Uhh..</i>
</p><p>The young woman with forests of curled mousy hair pounced up.</p><p>“Hi everyone! I’m Rebecca and I have been in and out of here for years now! I’m really close with all the staff, especially Maria,” she smiled at the nurse in an almost creepy manner.</p><p>
  <i>She’s manic.</i>
</p><p>Next to stand up was a tall thin man with thick rings of black smudged eyeliner painted beneath his eyes.</p><p>“My name is Michael. I shouldn’t be here.” He then sat down immediately.</p><p>
  <i>Damn, he stole my idea.</i>
</p><p>Craig was up next.</p><p>“Hi. I’m Craig. I miss my guinea pig.”</p><p>
  <i>Fuck my turn</i>
</p><p>“Ngghh I’m Tweek and uh.. I should be starting university in a few weeks.”</p><p>“Oh wow, what are you studying?” The nurse asked, exaggerating her interest.</p><p>“Uhm.. Psychology.”</p><p>
  <i>Kind of ironic considering I’m stuck in a psychiatric unit.</i>
</p><p>“Oh awesome! Psychology is an amazing subject and is very useful not only in careers but also for understanding yourself.”</p><p>“Now, like I said today we will be discussing relationships. This can be with anyone in your life. Family, friends, co-workers - I’m sure a lot of you are imagining romantic relationships.”</p><p>
  <i>Looks like I’m going to have to come out again.</i>
</p><p>“So let’s start with: What do relationships mean to you? Remember to respect each other's views and try not to interrupt.”</p><p>Rebecca started, “Relationships are fun. I’ve had lots of boyfriends-”</p><p>“No. You are just a whore.” Michael cut in.</p><p>A sudden evil projected across Rebecca’s eyes as she began to tremble.</p><p>She stood up and grabbed her chair.</p><p>Her voice was shrill and deafening. “Shut up!”</p><p>She then tossed the chair with her full force towards Michael. The edge crashed into his knees.</p><p>“You fucking bitch.” he yelled, his body filling with adrenaline.</p><p>The nurse quickly stood up between the two. </p><p>“Okay, Rebecca? Calm down please. I’m going to have to take you and Michael out of the room, maybe you can have another chance tomorrow but you have both gone way out of line.”</p><p>Rebecca death stared Michael like a tiger about to pounce on its prey.</p><p>“Tweek, Craig, I’ll be five minutes taking these two to see individual counsellors because sometimes people are not ready for group.”</p><p>
  <i>Just me and Craig. Like old times.</i>
</p><p>“I’ve done this before. I hate it. The only relationships I’ve really had are with my friends and I’ve lost them all.” Craig stated.</p><p>“I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for you” The blonde whispered.</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” The noirette gestured to the Tweek’s body.</p><p>“We are here together now though.”</p><p>Tweek gazed up into the dark-haired boys eyes. They were pools of ocean blue just as they always were. When they were younger they matched his hat for the cold Colorado weather - they now matched his hospital attire.</p><p>“I haven’t spoken to any of my friends for the whole year.” he confided, brushing his ebony hair back with his hand.</p><p>“We should have tried ngggh harder.”</p><p>“No. I should have tried harder.”</p><p>The blonde pulled him into an embrace to try and comfort him. It really wasn't his fault.</p><p>The noirette cringed at the feeling of bones jutting into him. He desperately missed the healthy and innocent Tweek yet at the same time he treasured every moment of the affection.</p><p>“Maybe we can help each other.” he whispered to the blonde whose head was nuzzling on his chest.</p><p>“When you told me you tried to end your life it hurt me so bad.. Even if we haven’t spoken for a while, I couldn’t live in a world knowing you aren’t there - neither could Stripe. You are the smartest person I know.”</p><p>Craig then pulled away slightly, “Tweek, if you carry on starving yourself you will die and then I would have to live in a world without you.”</p><p>
  <i>Trust me Craig, I have enough fat to live another few years without food.</i>
</p><p>“Growing up you always inspired me.” Craig added.</p><p>“How so? I’m a nervous wreck!” The blonde laughed softly.</p><p>A smile responded.</p><p>“I know you struggle with anxiety, but you’ve always fought it. People always assumed that I was the strong one - because I’m taller than the other guys and show no emotions. I was the first to end up in hospital for losing my mind.”</p><p>“Also because you are openly gay.” he confessed.</p><p>
  <i>Craig’s.. gay?</i>
</p><p>Before Tweek could fully process what the noirette said, the taller boy lowered his head.</p><p>In return, the blonde moved closer towards him.</p><p>“You’ve always been beautiful, Tweek.”</p><p>The noirette hesitated before pressing his lips into the blonde’s smaller, softer lips.</p><p>
  <i>Wow</i>
</p><p>He then gripped onto the blonde’s arms, pushing him back into his chair and pulling himself closer. The chill of the hospital suddenly felt warm and cosy.</p><p>Tweek’s lips slightly parted as he willingly indulged in Craig’s heat of the moment passion.</p><p>“Is this.. Okay?” he whispered whilst catching his breath from peppering kisses all around the blonde's mouth.</p><p>“Very.” he smiled whilst relaxing, letting Craig hold his frail body.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i struggle to write fluff so i hope this was somewhat satisfactory lol</p><p>also a lot of what i write is from experiences ive had AND basically this girl in my class threw a chair at some kid NOW IVE REMEMBERED SHE WAS ALSO CALLED REBECCA HAHAHA ( altho rebecca in my story is meant to be the homeschooled girl from south park)</p><p>basically this kid had no boundaries of what to say (special ed kid so not really his fault) told this girl to kill herself and she fucking jumped up in math class and started screamin and threw her chair at this guy.<br/>oh how i love public school xoxo</p><p>anyways hope u enjoyed x i will hopefulyl give u another chapter this weekend xxx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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